Not dead, just uninteresting.

I saw a joke about failed bloggers, where you know you should quit when you have only got a few posts and each one apologizes for not posting more. Another was along the idea that to blog, you must have something worth saying. Well I am not quitting, I am just...disadvantaged. ^_^

I am an introvert. This does not mean that I have poor social skills and can't handle people, but that social situations tend to wear me out where an extrovert would actually be energized by the socializing. This in turn limits the motivation I have for interactions. This also limits my motivation to "keep up" with social networking tools, including blogs and Facebook, which are at their core a "simulated" interaction.

A sad state of affairs, true, as this can often be misinterpreted as my not caring for other people. The reclusive behavior may also be part of a self-serving downward spiral of "well, I don't like Seattle/church/work because people don't want to do anything with me." Which turns into "well, if nobody wants to do anything with me, I will do my own thing." Which then feeds "people don't want to do anything with me because I am already planning on doing my own thing."

Nasty cycle, and I do try to put an end to it when I realize I may be falling into it.

Why the wordy preamble? Well, many blogs are written on a regular occasion, centered around a certain theme. I originally thought that I would, often enough, get the urging to comment on some brief moment in my life which had significant meaning because of the context. I don't have a huge laundry list or anything, but there have been some interesting thingg which I will spread out. I think I may take my Friday mornings and just pick one event of significance and talk about it...we'll see how this works out.

Since the last post, I have gotten seriously buzzed twice. I wouldn't say drunk, because to me that implies lack of control, the "good morning, who are you?". Mine is more a "I am aware that I am buzzed and judging from how tall that last curb was, I shouldn't drive."

I am blessed with the wonderful ability to know at any time exactly how buzzed I am on alcohol. Never "not remembered" a night, and I am proud of having kept my nose clean in that regard.

When I started drinking, it wasn't at an early age nor was it under pressure. I decided I wanted to drink and only drank what and when I wanted to. I was also in the company of friends who I knew genuinely didn't care if I did or didn't drink, so it was a non-issue.

My point being that one of my "chronoblips" with regard to drinking came not many weeks ago, during a bar hop. One was that not every bar knows what a Sombrero is, and another that "getting drunk" is an acceptable pastime among certain people. The other was how differently I was approaching the drinking from everyone else there.

Almost none of the conversations had during the bar hop were of meaning, and the one that might have delved deeper ended up being cut short because I was done drinking and some others wanted to move on. So instead of getting to know the fellow bar-hoppers better, I got to know how they drink and their choice of drink. Not really a very encouraging "outing" at all.

So, questions I have thought about and submit to the (admittedly) nonexistent audience: Do you know why you drink? Do you know how drunk you are at any time? Did you start drinking because of peer pressure? How have your drinking experiences shaped your drinking habits?

I think it would be interesting to see a study which relates the context of the first drinking and long-term drinking habits.

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