There is a movie coming out called Captain Marvel, which panders ideologically to the kinds of people who don't turn out in large numbers for movies like that. The philosophy comes from the venture capitalism/start-up world where folks are constantly trying to find and tap a market where nobody else is at, and so there are a lot of things tried and few of them really succeed, because it's hard to tell where there is an actual gap because nobody wants something, or because nobody has tried to fill the gap.
There was a comment in response to this movie which, while I can understand what they are trying to say, is somewhat revisionist and ignorant, lacking any necessary subtlety.
You can read the whole comment here, but the part I want to highlight is this section right here:
Remember - just 20 years ago, normal people would've thought there was something wrong with grown men spending so much time and money on wish-fulfilment fantasies for six-year-old boys.Wish-fulfillment is not the problem. What is being wished for is, and if you miss out on this and what happened to cause the change, then you'll blame the wrong things and prescribe the wrong cure.
The earliest "job" I can remember desiring was to be a monster truck driver.
When I was that young, guns and cars and tales of heroism were of interest to me.
My children, even young, already show an interest in very similar things.
There are careers that are aligned with their interests, if I know how to steer them correctly into developing the skills to support them.
The thing is that, under healthy and normal circumstances, young boys wish to be grown men doing grown men things, shouldering responsibilities and saving the day. Playing with cool technology, slaying dragons, all sorts of things that, as a boy, they can dream about, but lack the maturity, strength, and experience to actually participate in.
The wish-fulfillment for six-year-old boys used to be about things that were laudable, but now that those things wished for are not, some folks will to pretend that the problem is the wish-fulfillment itself.
To resolve this issue, however, we can't just throw out wish-fulfillment. I've used the phrase "mothers plant, fathers prune" to demonstrate a balance that is necessary in raising children, and this would be an example of a father figure going "too far".
Fathers "prune" in the sense that many plants will not produce good fruit when they are investing resources in growing the branches and so forth. Fruit are, in general, how the plant ensures its survival, but if its survival isn't threatened, it won't produce as much fruit.
A specific example of this is with wine grapes. I learned from my mother, who as an empty-nester looked into winemaking, that when soil is rather fertile, that the grapes produced are quite bland and lackluster. It's when soil is more barren, when the plants are stressed, that the fruit they produce has the most sugars, intending to attract the most creatures to consume the fruit and then spread the seeds afar to ensure the survival of the plant species.
Now, prune too much of a plant, and it simply dies out completely. Further, if there is nothing ever planted, there won't be anything to prune to begin with.
Squashing the dreams and creativity of children, whether boys or girls, is not going to "fix" the problem of those children never growing up. What we have in that case is a failure to prune, to eliminate the growth which will not eventually produce good fruit, and so the plants grow wildly out of control.
Mothers need to plant, to inspire new opportunities, to explore new avenues, but that needs to be balanced by fathers pruning back when the direction is harmful or out of control. Both are necessary, both father and mother have very distinctive roles, and both need to be specialized in that role to do the best they can at it.
The wish-fulfillment of six-year-old boys is what inspires them to strive harder, to reach towards something they don't already have. I drive a somewhat ostentatious vehicle, and I often get reactions from young boys who think I drive a "cool car". I worked hard to get a career and while I was single had bought a sporty coupe which was fun to drive, and even married with kids I still daily drive that to and from work every day. It gets decent gas mileage for what it is, it's the most powerful car I've ever owned, and it even played a role in getting the attention of a lady who would become my wife, and the mother of my children.
And while it's no monster truck, I do have a truck up on jack stands awaiting my rebuilding of the transmission.
There was a time when the wish-fulfillment of the youths was associated with things that were obtainable, activities which were beneficial, and in becoming the best at what one already was or could be.
The perversion of that was in turning the dreams to be the best at what you are into something that you aren't. That's the problem, not that children have dreams, or that those dreams should be abandoned or crushed, but that culture plays a role in what those dreams are, and the knee-jerk reaction, the pendulum swing that overshoots, simply does not account for this subtlety.
We want boys to wish to be good fathers, honorable soldiers, devoted disciples of God. We want girls to wish to be good mothers, wise nurturers, and also devoted disciples of God.
We want the dreams and wishes for them to strive to reach for to be good things, and for them to achieve them, not quash the whole thing entirely because some people had nightmares instead.
The path forward to a stable future is not found in the wobbling and waving to try and regain a balance, a perpetual swinging from one extreme to another. We only delay the inevitable fall, expend great energy to deny the obvious, creating all the more embarrassment when all such efforts prove futile.
It's not found in extremes of planting anything and everything and leaving it to chance, or in pruning back anything and everything that doesn't already bear fruit.
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